You Can't Dim Sum Alone

For the past two years, I’ve celebrated my birthday the same way: Dim sum in with a big group of friends at The Golden Unicorn, a classic spot in NYC's Chinatown.

My favorite part about dim sum is that you can’t do it alone. It’s meant to be shared, designed for groups of all sizes. So I use my birthday as a convenient excuse to bring as many people together as possible...you know, so we can order as much of the menu as possible. (By the way, dim sum parties also scale incredibly well. Whether you have 8 people, 16 people, or even 24, it's easy to add more tables.)

In case you've never been, The Golden Unicorn a multi-floor venue where wait staff circle the floors with carts of food all afternoon. There are no menus provided, and every dish is meant to be shared, which means that the entire meal becomes a communal effort. The joyful chaos of it all makes it an experience for everyone, not just the birthday guest of honor.

Due to the hectic way food is distributed, every table has to quickly form its own rules on the fly, negotiating how to order together. For instance, this year, we realized one table had a vegetarian, another had a pescatarian, so the group naturally coalesced around what to get (and what to skip) to accommodate everyone. In a way, it’s like a lightly structured cooperative game—an unspoken challenge to maximize variety while making sure everyone has something to eat.

A Shortlist of Other Participatory Party Ideas

Not everyone is a dim sum person (tragic, but true). So if you’re looking for other birthday ideas that create those same participatory, communal vibes, here are a few other options to consider:

1. Potluck Picnic at the Park

A low-key, high-reward option, especially in warmer months. Everyone brings a dish, so there’s a natural element of surprise, and it’s fun to see what people contribute. It’s flexible—people can drop in and out as they please—so you can structure it as much or as little as you want. One way to level up the picnic is to add a light theme; you'll be surprised by how much people get into it.

2. Korean BBQ + Karaoke

Another NYC classic. Korean BBQ has that same hands-on, communal vibe where people have to interact, whether they’re manning the grill, debating side dishes, or trying soju for the first time. Bonus points if you're in NYC's Korean Town and make it to karaoke afterward. But it all depends on how much your crew is ready for the midday power ballad.

3. Multi-Stop Food Tour

Instead of committing to one restaurant, pick a food category (tacos, dumplings, tapas) and structure a multi-stop crawl across several venues. Post the schedule ahead of time and encourage people to join for one stop or all of them. It keeps the day or night dynamic, prevents the "stuck at one place" problem, and lets you show off some of your favorite spots and keep the momentum high.

4. Arcade Hour at a Classic Arcade

Old-school arcades are perfect for a party with built-in interaction. There’s a natural flow—people can team up, challenge each other, and rotate between games, creating lots of opportunities for one-on-one conversations. Plus, it has that fun, nostalgic energy that brings people together. A stack of tokens, a mix of competitive and casual games, and some craft beers on tap? Not bad.

5. Bowling Parties

No list about possible party ideas with community in mind would be complete without bowling. The original conceptual framework for Bowling Alone, the book about the rise and fall of American community, provides a good reminder that while you theoretically can go bowling alone, it's a lot more fun with friends.

Why Opt for a Participatory Party

Birthdays are one of those rare moments when all of your social circles collide—work friends, parent friends, neighbors, college friends—but often, people stay in their separate orbits. A party designed around a shared activity (or dim sum tables) interrupts that pattern. Rather than center the experience around myself, it's a way of encourage everyone to meet each other.

Practically speaking, as the birthday person, you rarely get time to spend with everyone. So choosing something with built-in structure—something that scales effortlessly, keeps the energy up, and lets people enjoy the moment together—just makes sense.

The best birthday parties aren’t just about celebrating one person—they’re about creating an experience that brings people together for an experience to remember....long after those soup dumplings are gone.